by Jonathan Cho
Thousands pore over every on-court move of a LeBron James or a Kobe Bryant, sick beats and video editing software on deck to reap YouTube views at a moment's notice.
Players of that level are highlight machines- Vince Carter, for example, is so prolific that he has a top ten mix devoted to a *single dunk variant*.
Sasha Vujacic, by contrast, is mainly known for: (i) looking really European; (ii) getting chair-smackingly upset after letting Ray Allen blow past him in the Finals; and (iii) getting cut from the Slovenian national team in 2009, notwithstanding the fact that, at the time, Sasha was entering his prime and one of only eight Slovenian-born players to ever play in the NBA.
Were there really 12 basketball players in Slovenia better than Sasha Vujacic in 2009? I could check, but it seems easier to just wait for a die-hard Sasha fan to do the research and call me out in the comments section or something. I flatter myself.
To be fair, Sasha is also a two-time NBA champion, millionaire, holder of the Lakers' single season three-point percentage record, and married to Maria Sharapova, so whatever he's doing is probably working better than anything I'm doing. Whatever.
At any rate, my point is that Sasha doesn't exactly throw it down on a regular basis. To really get enough material to support a highlight reel, you'd presumably have to comb through a substantial proportion of his playing time in the NBA. At an average of 15.9 minutes per game, that takes dedication. So you have to imagine that someone who makes a 4-minute mix entitled "Sasha Vujacic 'The Machine' Mix" *really cares*- that he goes into the project thinking "hey, I think Sasha Vujacic is the man, and I'm making this video for him and for everyone else who is on board with that." And we have to go into this with the understanding that we're examining a project of passion.
A few initial observations: (i) the footage in this video was recorded on a microwave; (ii) the video suddenly cuts off and appears to restart around 1:00; and (iii) the soundtrack is by Korean rock and hip hop groups MC the Max and Epik High.
Back in 2010, the leader of Epik High, a guy called Daniel Lee, was demonized by Korean internet users who accused him of lying about graduating from Stanford. This got so bad that Lee quit his label and created a documentary where he returned to Stanford, got the registrar to reprint his diploma on camera, and interviewed former professors who confirmed that they knew him. Korean police got involved and various people were sued for criminal defamation. Notwithstanding all of this, certain people believe to this day that Daniel Lee did not attend Stanford.
Every conspiracy theory, no matter how irrelevant, has its adherents. Anyway, the video roughly goes as follows:
0:06-0:16: Montage of open threes, which fairly summarizes Sasha's NBA career- standing by the 3 point line while everyone swarms Kobe.
0:16-0:17: Ronny Turiaf dancing. Hell yeah.
0:18-0:25: Various shots of Kobe Bryant. This goes a long way towards establishing some initial credibility- surely if Kobe Bryant is willing to man-hug this guy, he must be okay. Also, a glimpse of pre-crack Lamar Odom.
0:26-0:36: Open threes, finger pointing, and clapping. Sasha. The essence.
0:37: Sasha takes a charge, I guess.
0:40-0:42: Sasha passes to Kobe, which was the principal raison d'etre for the Lakers roster from 2004-2007.
0:56: Yeah, this is getting good, we're all getting pretty amped- wait, what just happened? Why'd everything stop? *Let's kill all our momentum and start over*.
1:13-1:21: Sasha crosses up Ray Allen and drains a three. Now we're talking. This kicks off around 40 seconds of footage from what looks like game 3 of the 2008 NBA Finals- possibly Sasha's finest hour.
1:33: Sasha looks very Sasha.
2:03-2:18: A Sasha dunk from three different angles. Reminded of how awesome dunks are, I took a break at around this point to watch a mix entitled Top 100 Vince Carter Dunks.
2:56: Sasha talking to Kobe. The guy is legit.
2:57-3:19: Sasha throws down some pretty good dunks in this sequence. At 3:16, we also see the return of the Sasha face from1:33.
3:20-3:25, 3:40-3:47: Kobe passes to Sasha for some open threes. Wait, what? Kobe, you're worked hard. Just take the shot yourself.
3:55-3:58: Kobe nodding at Sasha, but it be a "yeah, you exist" kind of nod. Unclear.
3:58-End: The video concludes with a still of Kobe giving Sasha some kind of advice, followed by what appears to be a screenshot of an online question and answer session.
The most exciting parts of this mix end up being those involving Kobe, like a crappy indie movie that happens to have a cameo appearance from Patrick Stewart as a convenience store clerk. Everything just seems brighter and more interesting when he's onscreen. Otherwise, the main takeaway from this video - which just might be a collection of Sasha's greatest NBA moments - is something like "that guy plays basketball." Ah, Sasha.
SASHA SIGHTING: Sasha Vujacic is currently playing in Turkey and looking to get back into the NBA.
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